I gave a quick recap the other day so lets go into it in greater detail now. I found it a pretty traumatic experience with how insanely quickly everything happenned and didn't go to plan so I am trying not to dwell too much on it and just keep staring at my little man...who I am just so in love with!
So Thursday the 17th was the planned night for induction. After being told the day before what would happen, I did my research on inductions and inductions with gel. i did my reading on birth stories to do with it and I felt really nervous. The main reasons I was so nervous when I had never been before then was because you always wonder when the inevitable is going to happen when you are pregnant, but I suddenly freaked out knowing when it was. Traditionally inductions of first time mums take a fairly long time so any hope of a quick labour and labouring at home in comfort went out the window.
We arrived right on 6pm at the hospital, Once we got there and I got taken to a room, I felt calm. It sounded like it was going to be a fairly cruisy night. They sadi they would out they gel on me, give me some dinner and then I was free to just relax for the rest of the night. If I was too uncomfortable, they would give me painkillers too. The doctor came and put the CT machionsine on to monitor bub's heartbeat and checked to see if I was dilated, which I was only 1cm.
So they put the gel on and gave me some food while Damien was there. I was in high spirits and happy. Then while I was eating, I started getting contractions. Not a big deal as I had been getting them 20 minutes apart since the night before. Just before Damien left, they started coming 5 minutes apart and a lot more intense.They had told me I may get cramps after the gel so I thought thats what they were. Damien went home and I started pacing the corridors because I could not sit down without being in pain. I found the midwives and asked for painkillers and they said "Already?!?" and looked at me as if I was a complete wuss. I continued pacing and was nearly in tears. They finally took notice at about 10pm and called the doctor to look at me again after I said the pains were now less than 5 minutes apart and getting worse.
I was now 4cm dilated and in full blown labour. They took me straight over to the labour ward and called Damien as I couldn't talk to anyone. I still don't think anyone realised how close I was there and then. I kept asking for pain relief in gas or epidural and they gave me the gas. By the time Damien got there, I was almost passing out between contractions and the gas wasn't doing anything. He said he was saying to himself that everything he learnt in the prenatal classes about relaxation had gone out the window as I was past the trying to relax stage when he got there.
The midwife came in and checked me with Damien there. By this time, I was now 6cm dilated and then my water broke. There was alarm bells then as the colour wasn't right at all. So they re-examined me and after months of the baby's head being done, it freaked out and went into breech. I then started to get the urge to push and they said that we are going to have to have an emergency caeserean. I was in too much pain now to care and I knew it was the safest option for the baby.
Damien got scrubs on and we headed over to the operating theatre. I was needing to push and trying so hard not to. Damien messaged the parents and said "Emergency caeserean. Baby will be out in 15 minutes". As soon as I got in there, they re-examined me again, and I was at 10cm diated. It was now panic stations and they said they needed to put me under general anesthetic and Damien couldn't come in. The worst thing was I said "Is the baby ok?" and they said "We don't know". So I went under praying out loud that the baby was okay.
Jackson Damien was born at 12:35am and was and still is perfect. Damien was outside the doors and heard him as soon as he came into the world. Apparantly he came out of my stomach and screamed straight away. Apgar score of 9. All the nurses and midwives started cooing over him right away. They came out and gave the little man to Damien and then were on their way to the labour ward again to do all his measurements. My mum apparantly heard Damiens voice while she was in the waiting room and came bolting out. So everyone got to meet Jackson as soon as was possible.
I was in recovery all this time and was woken up at 2am. When I woke up I heard "Nicole wake up! You had a boy!" It took me awhile to figure out what had happenned because I was so zonked out and had to actually remember that I was giving birth last time I was awake! I asked heaps of questions which the nurses couldn't tell me the answer to, but they told me that he is very, very cute.
I arrived back in the maternity ward at 2:30am and they told me they would go and get the midwife and Damien. I will never forget when Damien walked through the curtain with Jackson on his shoulder. He had always been worried whether he would be a good father considering his was a dud and whether he would feel that instant connection with his child. There was no doubt as soon as I saw him, he was in love and was already an amazing father. He put Jackson on my chest and I gave me him a hug and kiss. I feel in love straight away too. I had worried whether thisd event in life which everyone puts so uch emphasis was really as emotionally powering as I hoped it would be and it was, even more.
The next morning I woke up in pain from the c section, but I felt like it was Christmas morning. I had been expecting the 18th to be the day it all began, but labour was all over and I turned over and saw my beautiful son looking straight at me. I still can't believe I made something so beautiful and perfect. He gave me one hell of a pregnancy and birthing experience, but every second was worth it to have him. there is so much to look forward to and even though I have been with him for every second since I met him, it still doesn't seem like enough.
The c section is going to be harder to get over though than I thought. I never realised how major a surgery it was. It's just like being heavily pregnant again where I can barely do anything and I feel completely useless. Sleeping is hard and painful (as if sleeping wasn't hard enough with a newborn). I go home from hospital on Tuesday, although I am dying to get out sooner. The good news is that now that I had a caeser, Damien can now take carers leave which means he can have longer off and gets paid for it rather than the unpaid parental leave he was going to have to have. SO he will be around to help me out for onger and we can spend more time as a family.
Here's some photos for your viewing pleasure!